Day 16

I am feeling good today!  I got all of the photos I have scanned so far uploaded to Shutterfly, and did some basic sorting.  I still have two boxes left to go, but it's going faster.  I went and got some shopping done today.  "WHAT?!" you say, "I thought you were getting RID of stuff?!"  Well yes, I am, but our island wear was severely lacking.  I got a few pairs of shorts for me and a couple a piece for the kids, plus some more tank tops and loose T-Shirts.  For me, nothing is real until you can shop for it, so now I am starting to get really excited.  Short blog today, I have to go get dinner started.

Day 17

Yesterday ended too late, and today began too early.  That being said however, it has been a good day.  I got 495 pictures uploaded to Shutterfly, and another 300 or so scanned.  Today I learned that even though I am a computer repair technician by trade, I still have something to learn about scanning photos!  Were you aware that you can scan MULTIPLE photos at the SAME TIME?!  The first 495 I scanned ONE...AT...A...TIME...  This last batch went much faster at 4+ pictures per scan.  I am feeling good about the last two boxes of photos that need to be scanned.  Other than photos I didn't get much accomplished, but I am trying to make myself slow down and breath a little.  We have just a little over two weeks left, and my OCD is kicking in big time, I am making lists, I even have a list of lists!  Rick keeps telling me that it doesn't matter one whit, we are leaving in 17 days, whether I get this stuff done or not.  If it doesn't get done, it doesn't get done.  Wow.  I think my head just exploded.  Let's just repeat that shall we?  If it doesn't get done, it doesn't get done.  It sounds good!  Relaxing, right?  Not when you are a do-er, a list maker, OCD, and uptight.  It keeps you up at night, it drives you crazy.  But I am trying to change that about myself.  I am trying to relax, let go, slow down.  I tried going with out lists, that didn't work for me very well.  I am hoping that after the move, when there are no deadlines or alarm clocks or conference calls that I won't need lists anymore.  I want to kick the list habit.  I want to quit smoking too.  I want to, wait, here I go making another list!  No more lists tonight!  Goodnight readers, see you on Day 16...

3 am

Yes, it is 3:18 am, and I am still awake...  Welcome Day 17!

Day 18

I was awake until after 3:00am this morning, just plain couldn't sleep.  Dwelling on all of the things that need to be done, all of the things that could go wrong, all of the things you think about lying in the dark at 3 am...  Of course, that naturally meant I overslept this morning!  I was just prying my eyes open with some heavy duty, extra strength, peel the paint off the walls coffee when Sherry and Todd from 3G's Auction called and said they were on the way.  WOOT!  Get dressed, brush teeth, vacuum the hallway (don't ask!) and the race has begun for the day.   I don't think I have slowed down since, actually.  I have been on the phone ALL day, and I do mean ALL day.  I had to charge my phone twice today (while I was still on it.)  I got Bridget's medical records printed from her doctor, three months of her medications, got told AGAIN by the clinic that they would call me back about the kids' records (since this is the third time I am not holding my breath.)  While I was sitting on hold on some random phone calls today I did manage to get some photos scanned.  While I have little tangible evidence to prove my productivity today, I did accomplish a lot.  I still have stress hives, and probably will until about a week or so after we finally get to Belize, but since today is Day 18, that still isn't far away.  I should be bouncing off the walls with excitement right now, that is my nature, but there are things still weighing on me beyond my control.  I fell into a coma-like nap about 6 pm tonight and just crashed for almost two hours.  As almost everyone knows, when you nap that hard that late, I will be watching the clock tick over at 3 am tomorrow morning, LOL.  See you again on Day 17...

Day 19

Well, nothing, and I do mean NOTHING got done to help our move today.  I slept in late, Rick and I had lunch with a friend, then I took the kids to the park.  It was a marvelous day.  I may be starting to adjust to island time already!  So, nothing to report today, tomorrow will be another busy day, but today was just amazing.  See you on Day 18!

Day 20

Yesterday did not go as planned, surprise surprise!  3G's Auctions had a family emergency and couldn't make it, Tammy had some stuff going on and couldn't get Buddy, and the school didn't have the boys paperwork ready, so pretty much all of my plans were shot.  I did get a lot of laundry done and separated, which is good, but got no pictures scanned which is bad.

I did get the boys withdrawn from school today.  I took them with me so that they could say goodbye.  I called the clinic about getting them scheduled for a check up and get copies of their records and they are supposed to call me back.  The rest of today is pretty much going to be dedicated to laundry so that I can cross this off the list.  But right now, I have a tired, grumpy five year old that I am going to go and lay down with and perhaps the two of us will take a nap.  A nap is always good for the soul.  Tomorrow starts the 'teens countdown.  I am both excited and scared.  Our new life is just around the corner and I am not really sure how to feel.  Thank all of you for your kind words and support, it helps knowing that you are out there.  See you tomorrow!

Day 21

Three weeks?  Are you sure?  We only have three weeks left?  Yep.  Three short weeks.  I woke up this morning tired and sore and dirty.  I didn't get my bath last night, so a shower this morning is a MUST.  I stink!  I awoke this morning to a beautiful day, the sun is shining and it's warm.  It is a good day to get things done.  And there are a lot of things to GET done.

I might have to do laundry before my shower though, I am not sure if I have any clean clothes left.  My closet is a disaster because I was trying to sort things in there as well.  So that has to be done today.

I got an email from Trey's teacher asking if he had been sick because he hadn't been to school the past couple of days.  I have decided to withdraw them from school today because I need all hands on deck and they can't seem to concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time.  So they start their no-school period a few days early.  So that has to be done today.

The garage has been sorted I think, and just in time.  The auction people are coming today to look at what we will be selling.  So that is going to be done today.

The sorted things in the garage must be packed and shipped to those people who are receiving things, and while that doesn't have to be done today, it must be started today.

Bridget came to me yesterday and said that her dog Buddy was getting too anxious with all of the commotion and sorting and packing and that she would like him to go to his new home.  I called Tammy, and she is going to come by so we can follow her out to her house to take Buddy to his new home, and that has to be done today.

Since the kids have been home all day, they have eaten us out of house and home and we must purchase food again.  That must be done today (or we will have hungry little campers!)

Four hundred pictures have been scanned to the computer so far, and about one hundred more sit on my desk.  I have another box of pictures sitting next to my desk I haven't started yet, and I found yet ANOTHER box in the garage last night.  So that has to be done today, tomorrow, and probably every day for the rest of my life!

I don't know if this blog is for you or for me...  I am running through the list in my head and trying to plan the day.  Of course as soon as I plan out my course of action, it will just get interrupted by new, unforeseen events anyway, but I am a planner to the bone!  I will let you know what happened today on Day 20.  See you all tomorrow.

Day 22

Oh my I am SO tired tonight!  I was with Bridget in the garage all day.  We got through most of it, there are probably only another six boxes or so to go through, and a few she set aside to go through again, but all in all I am happy with the progress.  I am tired and dirty and want nothing more in this world than a bath and bed.

I got to talk to Shannon this morning, it's her birthday today and now she is as old as I am again!  Haha, old woman!  We never thought we would EVER be this old.

So this old woman is going to go take her bath and put her tired body to bed.  Good night all, see you all on Day 21...

Day 23

Well, the Grant's have come and gone (along with the table saw.)  I wanted to get pictures but completely forgot while they were here!  The yard is getting mowed but I ran out of gas so I decided to take a break and come in and eat lunch.  Kids are fighting, sun is shining, life is good!  Very short blog today because it is not raining and there is so much more to do...  Maybe tonight after I slow down?  We'll see, I might just keel over instead.

Day 24

Well, it's actually almost Day 23 now, but I have been so busy today that this is the first time I have really had any time to blog.  I think we are through with the garage!!!  Bridget has been diligently going through her boxes, and I got through our few things.  I have been scanning pictures, again and some more!  I am about 400 pictures in, and still another 200-300 left in this box, then I have to do the other box!  I am getting tired of scanning photos!

Tomorrow will be another big day, my Uncle Grant and cousin Grant are coming tomorrow to pick up my dad's trailer and table saw.  I am excited to see family, I am also excited to get the table saw and trailer taken care of!  Things are starting to take shape.  I am still in desperate need of finding transportation for six people, six suitcases, six back packs and six carry on suitcases from Leesburg to Ft. Lauderdale on April 16!!!  Willing to pay for gas and motel, pleading for help from local friends.  (I will even buy you dinner)

Ok, I am about to pass out, so very short blog tonight.  See you tomorrow!

Day 25

Well, the countdown has begun!  Day 0 is the day we leave for Ft. Lauderdale, so 25 days left!  I will likely be updating daily at this point.  Ms. Tammy Fletcher and I have worked a deal, so I should be getting a camera in the next week or so, then I can begin posting photos.

Speaking of photos, last night was an emotional roller coaster.  I was cleaning the garage, rocking out to the ipod, sweeping the floor, throwing away trash, packing away the few things I want to keep.  I was feeling GOOD!  Making progress, seeing the clutter go AWAY!  And then, I got to the box.  You know the box.  The one that you keep things in that you can't get rid of, but are too emotional to look at very often?  Yep, that one.  Since I was feeling so good, so STRONG, you know, that I felt I could deal with the box.  Hahaha!  Yeah, strong.  Instead of being a smart girl, and just hustling through it, grabbing photos and ignoring the emotions attached, I decided to be an idiot and go through them one by one.  Things that made me laugh, things that made me cry, things I wish I could forget entirely, all of them were gone through thoroughly.  And the emotions were gone through just as thoroughly.   Needless to say, but that was the last thing that gone done last night.  Today I am going to try and digitize some of those photos.  I will try and send them out to those of you whom I know would like to have copies.

Ron, I found pictures of you and Stephanie from 1992.  They weren't the ones I was thinking of, and I still can't find that one of all of us together, but I will try and get those to you today.  If the scan thing doesn't work well, I will go and get hard copies and mail them to you (as soon as you email me your address again!)

Theresa, I have a ton of pictures you will want.  Prepare yourself though, and don't look at them until you have time to go through the same roller coaster I went through last night.  You try to be tough, but I know your weak spots, and these will hit them.

Shannon, I have some for you, but I am not sure which ones to send.  There are a few that are of you, or you and me that I know you will want, but there are some with someone else that you might prefer I not send.  Let me know.

Granny, I found some pictures of you when I was about 10 I guess, you are so BEAUTIFUL!  They are the tiny little ones in the plastic viewers that magnify, I hope I am able to get those enlarged to a decent size.  Aunt Kathy would probably want copies of those as well.

I need everyone, and I do mean everyone not just those on the list, to email me their information.  I know, I know, I should have all your addresses and emails, and birthdays and anniversary's, but in the mess which is my home/life right now I can't find anything.  Send everything to fendeesha@gmail.com please.

Holy cow did this short update get long in a hurry!  Ok, I am going to make another cup of coffee and get started on those photos.  I love you all, and thanks for reading and following my crazy life!

Insanity in Motion

Time is slipping away so quickly!  We did the taxes, fixed the banking, pulled Sierra out of school and met with the auction people.  (Quick shout out to 3G's Auction, LOVE YOU GUYS!)  I know it SOUNDS like we have gotten a lot done, but when I look at what still needs to be done I am almost ready to cry.  For those of you out there who are thinking about following in our footsteps and running away to a simpler life, here is a piece of advice;  have a fire.  A big fire.  Burn everything to the ground, and then burn the ashes.  You will save yourself so many headaches and sleepless nights!  Drastic change requires drastic measures.  Don't question, just do.  Ok, well now that I am thinking of all that needs to be done I am going to go now and weep quietly to myself, then put on my big girl pants and get busy.

Lan Sluder

Very excited, I got an email from one of my favorite travel authors today!  Lan Sluder has written some wonderful books about Belize, I have read every one from cover to cover so many times I think the pages are falling out.  It was just a short note, but how exciting for me!  Oh, to be a travel writer, I think that would be the best job in the whole wide world!

Ok, on the moving front, we managed to go through our room, closet and the storage on the back porch and pack up all of our pictures and memorabilia.  Gladly, or sadly depending on how you think of it, all of our memorabilia fit into one small box.  Wow, really?  Eighteen years of married memories in one small box.  Glad it doesn't take up too much storage room, but it's such a small box!  All of this stuff I have been dragging around for years is really pointless, the stuff I really can't do without fits in that one box.  Ok, enough about the box already!  Starting on the garage today, hoping I can get through that this weekend.  Then I will be pretty much done sorting.  I didn't realize how quickly I could get through all of this.  It's actually quite easy, I look at something and say to myself, "Self, do you like this enough to ask some one to make room in their storage unit for this, and do you REALLY want to pay for shipping to get it to Caye Caulker?"  That makes the process go VERY quickly, and I guess that would account for the aforementioned small box!  Ok, off to get started on the garage!

Good Day

I got to have a marvelous lunch with Tammy Fletcher yesterday, and spent three hours with my best friend Shea Kearce in the evening.  Rick stayed home and fed the kids and cleaned the kitchen.  Topped off by almost seven whole hours of sleep, I am a new woman today.  The panic has subsided and excitement has resumed.  Today will be a major sorting and packing day.  I am feeling energized and ready.  What a difference a day and good friends make!  Love to you all!

P.S.  If you want to comment you apparently have to join the site, which requires a gmail account.  I am going to look and see if I can change the settings on that, but if you have a gmail account, then please sign up, I feel like I am talking to myself!

P.P.S.  I think I fixed the comment problem, try it out and see!

Why?

How can my husband wake me up at 3am, tell me we have plane tickets, give me a to do list, and then go to bed and start snoring?  With so much to do, I may not sleep until we get to Caye Caulker!  It is so unfair...

Big Update!

Well, it is 3:30 am, but I just couldn't wait to share!  We have airline tickets finally!  We are leaving earlier than we thought, which now has me in a panic.  We fly out of Ft. Lauderdale into Cancun, Mexico on April 17, and will take the express bus to Belize City, where we will then board the water taxi to Caye Caulker.  There are so many things to do, I am slightly (ok, a lot more than slightly!) overwhelmed.  We have to get rid of all of our things, I have to pull the kids out of school, get medical and school records for everyone, arrange for some one to haul us all down to Ft. Lauderdale, print out some letters in Spanish so we can GET from the airport to the bus terminal, change our reservations at Ignacio's... OMG!  And at least half a dozen other things I haven't even thought of.  Oh, yes, I have to find a home for Bridget's dog Buddy, and three cats.  Anyone?  Anyone?  Ok, well, I do need to go get started, but our crazy adventure has now become official!  I have so many feelings about all of this, I couldn't even begin to describe them all.  I will need all of the prayers I can get, and probably a handful of Xanex to get me through.  Ok, off I go!

Another Day

Well, we did not get our airline tickets today, but it is looking like we will be able to get them this week.  I am feeling positive and even managed to sort through some stuff today and at least get rid of some trash I have been hauling around for too many years.  Tomorrow I will begin packing, it is starting to feel real to me now!  I am both excited and frightened, I don't know how that is possible but it is.  Thank you for all the well wishes, I love you all so much!

Progress!

Well, progress is being made at last!  I will be able to sleep tonight.  We have secured temporary lodging at Ignacio's Beach Cabins on Caye Caulker, 2 cabins @ $17.50 per night (per cabin.)  Yes, you read me right, $17.50 per night!  That will give us plenty of time for house hunting.  I am feeling good right now, and even encouraged enough to go sort through stuff and pack what little we will be having sent down to us.  What a wonderful day!  Oh, and please sign up with the site and comment on posts, I would LOVE to know who is following us and hear what you have to say!

Stage 1

Well, the house hunt has begun but it is not going so well so far.  Trying to find a rental for a family of five, plus another rental with in walking distance for my mother in law Bridget from thousands of miles away is a challenging task to say the least!  We had a few promising leads, and I was excited to check my email, but after two disappointing emails this morning I have decided not to check any more today.  We should be purchasing our airline tickets next week, for departure in June, which should make me happy.  Instead, I lay awake all night tossing and turning, because I have a family of six that are going to be showing up in a foreign country with no where to go!  This is one of those days that the dream seems impossible.  Tomorrow will be better, right?

Prologue

Prologue

When I tell people of our plans to leave everything we know behind and move our family to a country we have never seen, I am often met with one of two reactions. The first reaction is surprise, followed quickly by a hint of jealousy, clouding their eyes with unnamed dreams and soaring spirits. That is my my favorite reaction. The other reaction is not as pleasant, and sometimes leaves even me wondering what in the world I could possibly be thinking. Their eyes narrow as their bodies seem to shrink away from me in horror. They express dismay over that fact that I am taking my children, MY CHILDREN away to some third world country where God only knows what could happen to them. The dreams I dream of a slow paced life, filled with pleasant walks and plentiful swims in the oceans blue waters seem silly, or even dangerous. Then I pull myself up, and remember WHY we made this decision in the first place.

This story goes back many years, to our eldest son, Michael. That is a story that some of you already know, and one I may share with the rest of you some other time. Michael passed away from a malignant brain tumor when he was six years old, and left Rick and I adrift with out any anchor. We have managed to hold onto one another, and three more beautiful children, but in both of us there is still a painful abyss that will forever linger. As each of of out other children were born, that dread foreboding would come upon me, and I would watch fearfully as they grew, terrified that this child too, would be taken from us. Several of our children were indeed taken from us before they were able to be born into this world. Sierra, Trey and Chandler did make it and seemed to be healthy and happy, and eventually I was able to let go of that terrible fear. Rick opened our business, and I was able to change my focus and dive head first into building it up. We hired nannies to help with the children and spent many years working ten to twenty hour days, six and seven days a week, working ourselves into exhaustion. We told ourselves and each other that when we had “enough” we would take time off, and spend time with the children. This brings us to last year, the year we woke up.

Our middle child, Trey, had been diagnosed with a hemangioma when he was about a year and a half old. It was a small lump in his cheek, and the doctor assured us that it was nothing to be concerned with, it would go away on its own. Instead of going away, it grew larger. Not much, not for years. It grew slowly, we really didn't even notice it much. Late in 2010, it started getting much larger. I had begun to grow concerned, and was planning on making an appointment with the pediatrician. We had been told that unless it got a lot bigger, got very hard, or started hurting not to worry about it. One day Trey came home from school, holding his face and crying. He said it hurt. I tried to feel it, see if it was hard (which it now was) and he flinched back in pain screaming. We went to the pediatrician the next day. Dr. B examined him and informed us that this is NOT a hemangioma, that they do not grow like this and that we were likely looking at a tumor. She additionally stated that benign tumors usually do not grow that way either, and that we would need to go in for a biopsy. Immediately the past came crashing down upon me like a wave, and a hollowness filled my being. I began having very long conversations with God, which I had not done in many years. This was when we decided that we had “enough,” and cut our hours and stopped putting work first and started refocusing on the children. The lump in Trey's face was indeed a tumor, but fortunately benign. While he does have permanent damage to his face, he is alive and healthy and happy, but we still had had enough.

Our search began, find a place that we could go that we could afford and that could get us away from the feeling that we always had to have “more.” We wanted to find a place that was much slower, focused on family, that was not as materialistic, and within our budget. We looked at so many places! We finally settled on Belize, and what follows will be an accounting of our adventures: the preparation, the move, and, once we finally get there, our new, slower paced lives.  Some posts will be serious, many will be humorous, but they will all be true.  Thank you for reading, we hope to see you on our journey.